


El Mayarah

by issa_asdf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Other, Protective Alex Danvers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10047086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/issa_asdf/pseuds/issa_asdf
Summary: Life is a slow progression of events that announce themselves making ripples in our lives.Those events don't hit us all at once. Think of earthquakes, they don't show up all at once. They start with tiny ripples in the surface, and end up with huge amounts of energy being released.You’re not the same as you were before. There’s always a before and after the earthquake.That same thing happened to Alex. Only that her earthquake seems to not be over yet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Ducky for proofreading and editing this <3

" _The tremor didn't come out of nowhere. Actually, nothing in this life does._

_Everything occurs just as it does in earthquakes: in a snap._

_We are those who live just a bit at a time._  "   
_\-- Ana María del Rio, Pandora_

 

 

 

You didn't want to be a big sister, you knew your parents didn’t have time for you let alone someone else. Eliza and Jeremiah weren't the worst parents. But you wished they'd pay more attention to you. And that they'd let you do your own thing and wouldn't try to mold you to their taste. That's why you never asked for a younger sibling when you were a child.

Because when you were eight instead of going to camp with your friends, you had to go to Smallville. Because Kal- _Clark_ you remind yourself, was fresh out of high school and he had started developing his powers. They came all of a sudden. Freeze breath, enhanced vision, enhanced hearing, enhanced _everything_ . And Dad and Mom being the experts in Alien biology and Kal- _Clark_ was your -supposedly- _cousin_ . So mom and dad had to help him. Because family helps family, and _El Mayarah_ and all that stuff.

 

You loved Kal ( _Clark. Alex, his name is Clark_ ) when you were a kid, because he was like your big brother. Always letting you eat candies before dinner and sneaking cookies for dessert. He was great. He was the nicest guy ever and you thought that he would never be evil.

 

He wasn't, but when you were seventeen he and his best friend, Lex Luthor had a fight. And he told you not to trust a Luthor. He didn't tell you why, and you didn't ask either. You forgot about this, until later in life.

 

You were fourteen and you didn't want to be a big sister. The day that _your cousin_ Kal ( _"Clark,_ _Alex,"_  you keep reminding yourself _, "his name is Clark. For the last time"_ ) brought Kara home was the one when your world broke down in more than one way.

 

Two weeks earlier your parents had asked you at dinner if you wanted to have a little sibling. That would have been great when you were twelve and all your friends were having little siblings. So you told them that yes, maybe, you didn't know. They asked because they didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But if they wanted to have another child you would help them with the kid. Because that's what you were supposed to do when you were an older sibling, right?

 

When Kal brought her home it felt like an earthquake had come. You started feeling the replicas way too soon, and they were way too much. But you accepted them with joy, it felt weird not to be an only child anymore. Kara Zor-El _Danvers_ was your sister now, your 12 year old _baby sister_.

 

Kara was a tiny twelve year old who barely spoke a word of english. She was, in reality, twelve years older than Clark and all she said was his name. She was like a tiny kitten, scared of everything. Jumpy and frightened. That and the sensory overload she was going through made things worse. She could hear everything, like Clark, she had her powers already and it was too much, too soon and too fast for her.

 

The first months she used to wake up at night with a sob trapped on her throat and tears streaming down her cheeks. Because, and this you knew later, she used to close her eyes and watch her planet explode over and over again. She explained, or tried to, that her pod was behind Kal's. And that she feared for her little cousin to be reached by the explosion and be killed in situ.

 

You barely understood each other. With Kal's rusty knowledge of krypton and Kara's permanent on-the-verge-of-tears expression, things were difficult. You liked him. But you were also resentful of him because how easy was it to give up your cousin to a couple that weren't your own family? How could he look at Kara and _just give her up? How could he live with that knowledge?_ Kara was a sweet child, the sweetest child you’ve ever meet, and _how could he?_

 

The logic step, for you, was teaching her how to communicate in english. You didn't blame your parents for putting themselves on this position. Because if you were in the same position they were now, with a 12 year old who could broke all your limbs if she got scared, you would have accepted her with open arms too. Dad gave her a pair of glasses lined with lead so she could see everything, but not _everything._ And you taught her to focus on one sound so her sensory overload wasn't that overwhelming. You didn't ask which sound she picked. But you knew it was a constant one, a patterned one because Kara was the kind of child who appreciated patterns. It made things easy for her, to know a certain structure of things. Like heartbeats, like breaths and blood pumping through someone's veins. You didn't ask which sound she picked, _whose_ sound she picked. But after that she always rested her head on your chest, or your shoulder,  whenever she felt overwhelmed and you _just knew._

 

Clark had taught you what he knew from Krypton. That they were a developed society, they had their laws, and their Science Council. He was part of the House of El, but he didn't say much about his family name, you just assumed it wasn't that big. His father, Jor-El, was a scientist; and his mother, Lara Lor-Van was a highly trained astronaut. What he didn't tell you, was that Kryptonians were highly intelligent, and that they had a very good grasp of their environment.  It took you _months_ to learn kryptonese, and your knowledge was useful to talk to Kara. She taught you what she knew about her mother tongue and you taught her what you knew of english. Sometimes she switched seamlessly from english to kryptonese, just because she couldn't find the right word in english. In reality Kara taught you and Kal what she knew about her home planet, the parts Clark didn’t know and the ones he knew too well.

 

You two shared a room when she first got home. From the first moment you saw her you got a bit giddy to be a big sister, you could teach Kara how to surf, how to ride a bike. You taught her about poetry. About Harry Potter, who was in a way like Kara, even though you didn't like the series that much. About Grandma and Grandpa Danvers. About that time when you were six and cut open your left thumb because you didn't want to tighten up your laces. She taught you about her planet, her costumes. She told you she was going to be the next carrier of the El name, she told you about her life, her family. In exchange you told her about her new family, her new uncles, you told her she didn't need to fulfill a role here, she could be whoever she wanted. On hard days Kara used to wake up at 3 am, sobbing, gasping for air. Calling _Kal_ , her mother, her father, her aunt, _her family_ . And all you did was get up from bed, go to hers and cuddle her whispering sweet nothings in kryptonese. She clung to your shirt like her life depended on it, because _maybe_ it did, because _maybe_ she felt lost all over again. Because probably she thought about you too, getting lost with her whole world, you wanted to think somedays. _El Mayarah_ you thought, you two were stronger together.

And if she wasn't now you'll be stronger for her, because she needed you.

On easy days you two spent the night talking about stars, she'd tell you about the planets she used to visit with her parents, how there was a festival when it was reaping time and that everyone showed up with flowers on their hair, and a smile on their faces. She used to tell you what the constellations were called in Krypton. Suddenly you discovered that your sister was a real nerd, and that you could bond over _more things_.

 

You and Kara were slowly growing inseparable. By the time you were fifteen. You two used to go to your room, Dad had built another one for Kara, and go to the roof to watch the stars and hear the ocean. Kara said that if she closed her eyes she could still hear the sounds of the city where her grandparents live- _lived_ . She always had to correct herself, and it pained you how she made the change from present to past, to _her past_. You always hated how it was a constant reminder of what she had lost, what you didn't know how it could feel. In times like these you hugged her, and asked her to lie next to you and watch the stars, just watch the stars and listen to the sea. Kara always ended up snuggled up to you, and dozing off in the middle of the night. She hovered above one or two inches from the ground when you came down from the roof before Mom caught you two getting down.

 

One night she looked at you and asked you if you knew what her last name meant. You smiled softly at her and said that all the names, mostly all the names in the universe, had a meaning. That " _Mom and Dad told me once that they had picked my name from a hero."_ That you knew _"Alexander The Great was a king, from the kingdom of Macedon. He was part of the Argead dynasty. And he conquered from Greece to northwestern India. He was a really good strategist_ " you said.   
She looked at you, shuffled closer to where you were sitting and whispered " _There was a time in Krypton,"_ she said taking a big gulp of air _"that people were only known by their first name, one of my ancestors, Erok. Who was the son of Tomnu, who was the son of Rugad, who was the son of Feln... He, Erok, became the first kryptonian known to adopt a name. He was the founder of the clans of Krypton, and he choose to name himself as Erok-El, or Erok of The Stars. I'm from his lineage._ " she added humbly.

So your sister was _literally_ a child of the stars, you didn't have a doubt.

She rested her head on your shoulder, and said " _We are both named after important people, dead people._ ". You wanted to ask her what it felt to know everything in the world, _on earth_. You wanted to ask her what it felt like to look at you and watch your heartbeat and your lungs expand and collapse with each breath you took. You didn't, maybe it could hurt her and you didn't want her to wake up crying at 3 am.

 

That same year you and Kara started high school, she was a prodigy and everyone kept mockingly calling her a nerd. Your parents used to get called to talk with the principal because you dealt with everyone who dared to hurt Kara at school.

" _Alex,_ " Kara said one day " _I can pick my own fights_ ", she added looking at her shuffling feet, and probably at the earth's core.

You looked at her, smiled softly. You were, _are_ , always soft with her. She was your sister, made of stardust and sunshine. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to hear people call her a nerd, _a freak._ You promised to your parents you'd help them with Kara. You lived up to that promise. You made your life around her, Kara was so innocent. She didn't deserve to be treated that way.

" _But I want to, I need to. There's nothing else I can do for you than fight your battles_ " you said, because one look into Kara's eyes was diving into galaxies, into oceans of knowledge, into the abyss that was knowing everything, feel everything, _see_ everything and still not being able to find your place.

You thought it was normal for a teenager like you to feel so lost, to feel so lonely, so alone. But not for Kara. Kara who was like a kitten still, seeking the warmth of the sun and pawning at you with her hands, who was slowly blinking at you whenever you showed her new things and when you explained new earth concepts.

Kara, who smiled showing her teeth and whose eyes lit up whenever she saw you come back from school.

Kara who liked to stuff her face with candy and Mom always said that if it wasn't for her physiology she would have developed cavities due to the amount of processed sugar she ate.

Kara was too pure for this world and you wanted to hold her forever behind you and protect her from the evil forces of this world.

Kara, _your baby sister._

Who was barely as tall as you, looked at you attentively and then hugged you as hard as she could without suffocating you " _Thank you_ ", she mumbled into your Percy Jackson tee shirt, and you knew that if you didn't know her inside out you wouldn't have caught the whole meaning of those two words.

" _Thank you, Alex_ ", she said again. This time without the heaviness of all of her feelings.


End file.
